The Psychology of Praise: Why Most Praise Falls Flat

Michael Pearson
Sep 23
2 min read

Updated: Oct 2

Let’s get real.

If the best feedback you’re giving is “Good job”… you’re not leading. You’re phoning it in.

Praise is one of the most powerful levers in leadership. Done right, it drives performance, builds culture, and keeps your people engaged.

Done wrong? It feels hollow, forced, and forgettable.

And here’s the kicker: most leaders think they’re praising well, but they’re actually undermining themselves.

Why Most Praise Falls Flat

👉 It feels awkward. Leaders default to safe, vague lines.

👉 They praise outcomes, not effort. Missing the behaviors that actually deserve recognition.

👉 They stay generic. “Great presentation” doesn’t land.

👉 They overdo it. Endless praise without real feedback feels fake.

👉 They underdo it. Praise is rare, so when it comes, it feels random.

The truth? Hollow praise doesn’t build leaders. It builds cynics.

Step 1: Be Specific (or Don’t Bother)

“Good work” = noise.

“Your visuals made the data crystal clear” = signal.

Specificity is the difference between noise and leadership.

What to do:

Call out exact actions and why they mattered.
Highlight effort, not just outcome.
Anchor the praise to a bigger business impact.

💬 Example: Instead of “Great job on the budget,” try:

“Your creative approach to the budget saved us 15 hours this month. That’s impact.”

Step 2: Match the Praise to the Person

Not everyone wants a public high-five at the Monday meeting.

Some want it one-on-one. Others want the spotlight.

One-size-fits-all praise is lazy.

What to do:

Ask your team how they like to be recognized.
Respect introverts who prefer private acknowledgment.
Scale extroverts by giving them the room to shine.

💬 Example: A leader realized their introverted engineer hated public praise. Switching to quick private thank-yous increased their motivation tenfold.

Step 3: Balance It (Praise Alone Won’t Scale You)

If every conversation is all sunshine, your credibility tanks.

Real leadership = specific praise + constructive feedback.

What to do:

Use the “praise → feedback → encouragement” rhythm.
Keep the tone supportive, not critical.
Anchor it in growth: “Here’s where you’re crushing it. Here’s what to tighten. Here’s why I believe you can do it.”

💬 Example: “You’re fantastic with clients. Let’s level up your reports to save you time. Once you nail that, you’ll be unstoppable.”

That’s growth fuel.

Step 4: Bake Praise Into Your Culture

One-off praise doesn’t change culture. Rituals do.

What to do:

Create “weekly wins” sessions where peers recognize peers.
Lead by example — model the praise you want echoed.
Make recognition repeatable, not random.

💬 Example: A company built a peer-to-peer recognition board. Within weeks, collaboration skyrocketed. People started praising each other, not waiting on the boss.

The Bottom Line

“Good job” isn’t leadership.

Specific praise builds trust.

Personalized praise builds connection.

Balanced praise builds growth.

That’s how you scale people. And if you don’t scale your people, you’ll never scale your business.